Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
