I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
jump out the window naked night went bad
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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