she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
