Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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