I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
