Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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