Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
why is half of my head shaved?
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