I look better un-naked...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
