on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
