so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
