do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
