so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
