Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
