Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
