and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
