Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
