You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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