All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
