Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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