its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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