i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
