if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
