If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
