I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
