Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
