just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
