The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
