Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
