yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i out mim tonsoeep
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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