Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
