ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
