It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
