Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
