I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
