you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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