wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
