do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
