She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
