I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
