Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
