remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
