as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
