so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
