I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
