we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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