Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
