smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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