I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
