Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
