Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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