i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
