I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
