i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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