Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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