So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
