Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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