We're facebook friends in real life
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
