then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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